I Hate Networking

Is there anyone on this list who likes networking?

Or what passes for networking in entertainment?

The obscenely long courting process where we find the exact right time to ask a person whether they might do a favor for us?

It’s not just that we fear being direct. In entertainment - being direct is often discouraged. No one wants to seem too “green” or be caught “not knowing the protocols.” 

“How embarrassing, you met someone who could help you sell your movie and you asked them to help you sell it? On first meeting?”

How gauche. How - rude.

Don’t you know that networking in our industry is to be done as such.

Step 1: Meet someone and vibe over something “organic.”

Steps 2-8: Spend months, years, or even decades, priming your eventual ask.

Step 9: At the right moment, and only at the right moment, make your ask.

Step 10 - Then - fret. “Did I ruin a relationship?” “Did I ask at a time when they were having a bad day?” “Was I too presumptuous, audacious, too bold?”

I wonder, is networking about making friends or just collecting acquaintances who could one day help our career?

If you want to make friends make friends and don’t worry about them ever helping you leverage your success.

Let’s break it down:

If we wanted to date someone, would we become friends with them, and then wait literally decades while we let them know we for sure don’t want anything from them - and then, just when they really don’t see it coming - make our ask.

No one would call that a good dating strategy, so why is it a good business strategy for writers in entertainment?

I’ll tell you why. The people we want something from are special; they’re better, somehow, than us. More important.

And they deserve to be protected - from losers like us who greedily just want what we want.

They’ve paid enough dues to not have to deal with someone “no one knows” that just wants a favor from them.

“That person is always asking for something, it’s tiresome.”

That’s such a cool, subtly virtuous way of shaming people who go after what they want with gusto.

Or, how about - we begin to think of those special people - those who we want to move our projects forward as no better or worse than us?

Sure, people do ask them for things ALL THE TIME. So when we make OUR ask, we make a smart ask - an ask that could help their business prospects, an ask that feels empowered, unapologetic. We contextualize ourselves to them quickly, bravely, and powerfully - so they know how to place us in the world of their work.

“I know a number of writers on your roster, including X writer who just that sold that pitch to Hulu and he told me actually - that your client list is really missing a writer like me…”

“I have a 2 million dollar horror feature similar to the one you just produced, with an out of the box concept that could garner a theatrical run with the right talent attached, and potentially do better at the box office and in licensing fees.”

If your ask just starts and kinda ends with “I’m so inspired by your work” perhaps stick to steps 2-8.

In sales, if you don’t learn to be a resilient asker you die. Why don’t we carry that same sentiment into our business as people who make content for entertainment?

Because I guess it’s easier to shame folks who are audacious and filled with self belief.

“You’re just pushy”

You’re not actually pushy, that’s just their shame boundary making sure you wait your turn, play the long game, etc.

Forget that.

• Hone your elevator pitch.

• Include the person you’re asking in your future success.

• Go after what you want with haste because life is short and creatives are underpaid so why wait?

While my list is aimed at writers, I hope these last few posts have helped you remember your value as a creative in entertainment whatever your speciality.

Until next time, write the narrative that suits you and no one else.

Nick